I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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