'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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