So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
