you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
