Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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