It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
