What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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