I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
