you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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