Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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