Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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