At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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