You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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