therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
