have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
