I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just pee around me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
