He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could fuck to npr.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
