i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
