You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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