Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize