Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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