hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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