so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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