1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How does one acquire holy water?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
