I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
