the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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