Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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