Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
