i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
