You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
