Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
