things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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