Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
