That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
