Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick