Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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  (256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i
  Replies (33) Good night (3965) Bad night (1404)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.

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  (304): I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great. http://tfl.nu/mw4a
  Replies (11) Good night (4469) Bad night (671)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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  (781): Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink? http://tfl.nu/6hyx
  Replies (6) Good night (2298) Bad night (745)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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  (864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz
  Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (1662)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS

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  (340): I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS http://tfl.nu/sha5
  Replies (8) Good night (1357) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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  (716): Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum. http://tfl.nu/mwlv
  Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..

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  (832): I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something.. http://tfl.nu/p35d
  Replies (6) Good night (2091) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You went home with a man in a loincloth

  (914): View more from New York

  I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

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  (952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1391) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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  (406): Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever. (1-406): Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible. http://tfl.nu/2r6p
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.

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  (541): After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave. http://tfl.nu/k4g0
  Replies (5) Good night (878) Bad night (1111)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.

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  (801): If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run. http://tfl.nu/bk6l
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.

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  (585): Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful. http://tfl.nu/vw40
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.

  (281): View more from Texas

  You're a hero.

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  (832): Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too. (281): You're a hero. http://tfl.nu/xn5z
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours

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  (905): 4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours http://tfl.nu/zrgf
  Replies (5) Good night (400) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away

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  (954): Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away http://tfl.nu/s2aw
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (262)

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