Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Rock

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Scissors

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuck

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  (847): Rock (630): Scissors (630): Fuck http://tfl.nu/tdxv
  Replies (15) Good night (2848) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you trying to threaten my boobs?

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  (402): Are you trying to threaten my boobs? http://tfl.nu/zkua
  Replies (17) Good night (3220) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

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  (610): I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date. http://tfl.nu/jj8c
  Replies (50) Good night (1165) Bad night (9931)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

  (971): View more from Oregon

  it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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  (971): one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull. (706): i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer... (971): it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible. http://tfl.nu/efvs
  Replies (9) Good night (4311) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (3132) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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  (816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj
  Replies (10) Good night (2936) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2374) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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  (405): Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/ecpk
  Replies (17) Good night (1815) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.

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  (608): I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/n8yp
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.

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  (615): Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester. http://tfl.nu/ktfh
  Replies (6) Good night (1490) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

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  (715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real. (1-715): I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;) http://tfl.nu/oqj0
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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  (413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11
  Replies (6) Good night (1235) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.

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  (940): Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me. http://tfl.nu/f1j1
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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  (256): I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth. http://tfl.nu/vzie
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina

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  (808): You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina http://tfl.nu/l91f
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (298)

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