you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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