i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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