playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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