he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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