omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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