Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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