see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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