im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
