Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think your dad took our porno
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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