4 words: hood of his car
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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