I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
