he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
