Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
