I bet he comes in French.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
