Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He better not be in your backpack
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm both gender and math confused
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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