That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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