oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
