I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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