Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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