so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
