Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
