The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
a search helicopter?!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize