you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
