So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
