Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
