the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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